Welcome to a guide that transcends mere rules, diving deep into the soul of Portuguese culture. In a land where courtesy is an art form, it’s sometimes different to what you’re used to in your culture. Let’s explore the nuances of etiquette and good manners in Portugal. Discover the locals’ wisdom, addressing pain points about the best practices in Portuguese etiquette. These are for those visiting or living here. Let’s forge a connection, unravelling the secrets of polite living in Portugal that go beyond the surface, creating a cultural rapport with every interaction.
Many of these points below are common to other European and Western cultures, and I will explore the main transgressions Portuguese people make as well! Yes, there are impolite people in Portugal too!
Table Manners
In Portugal, table manners are more than just a set of rules; they are an art form that reflects the essence of cultural tradition or refinement. However, I will preface this by saying that some of these may vary depending on what circles you move in. I found some of these online, and personally, I’ve not seen or heard of them before.
Basics of Table Etiquette
Let’s explore the basics of table etiquette, ensuring your dining experience is a symphony of politeness and grace.
- Elbows Off the Table: A fundamental rule – avoid eating with elbows propped on the table.
- Mindful Gestures: Refrain from gesturing with utensils in hand.
- Movement of the food: The food should come to you, not you to the food.
- Closed Mouth Chewing: Cultivate the habit of chewing with your mouth closed.
- Fingers: Don’t lick your fingers.
- Smoking: In public spaces, this is only permitted outdoors or in designated areas. But if you’re in someone’s home who happens to be a smoker (and smokes indoors), it’s polite to wait until everyone has finished eating before you light one up yourself. Posso fumar? (May I smoke?)
Serving
When it comes to serving at the table, delve into the specifics:
- Meals: Portuguese people have two hot meals a day (lunch and dinner). Traditional meals consist of soup, main course, dessert (usually fruit) and then coffee (espresso). So my advice for going to dinner at a Portuguese home that you know is more traditional is to go with an appetite 😉
- Orderly Utensils: Arrange utensils in the order of use, from outermost to innermost, during the meal.
- Glass Hierarchy: Glasses should be arranged from largest to smallest, left to right.
Other tips
- Time management: There is usually a 15-minute delay in arrival time for a formal dinner, and for parties or larger gatherings, there is up to an hour. (Being half-Irish and born in Holland, this one annoys me a lot!)
- Seasoning :Some say that asking for salt and pepper if they’re not on the table is an insult to the chef. But if you’re someone who loves piri piri with their food, I wouldn’t say it’s insulting to ask for some…but that’s just me.
- Serviet/napkin: While eating, your serviet/napkin should be on your left. When you’ve finished, place it on the right to show that you’ve finished your meal. Also, set your cutlery together on the plate with the handles resting on the rim pointing between 10 and 4 o’clock.
- Tipping: Not a common practice here in Portugal, but we usually give what we want.
Workplace Etiquette
Navigating the professional realm in Portugal demands a keen understanding of workplace etiquette. Here’s a glimpse of dos and don’ts:
Don’ts:
- Avoid Inappropriate Questions: Refrain from asking intrusive questions of new colleagues.
- No Boss Comparisons: Steer clear of comparing former bosses with current ones.
- Keep It Positive: Resist speaking negatively about colleagues.
- Phone Etiquette: Avoid personal phone calls in open spaces.
- Punctuality Matters: The Portuguese are not known for punctuality, and 10 to 15 minute delays aren’t unusual. They are, however, undesirable. So be on time for work engagements.
Do’s:
- Warm Greetings: Greet with a smile and politeness, letting the newcomer initiate greetings.
- Dress the Part: Maintain a professional appearance.
- Posture Matters: Uphold good posture in professional settings.
Greetings
Mastering the art of greetings is vital in Portuguese culture. Here’s a quick guide:
- Who greets first? The one who arrives greets first.
- Men’s Greetings: Men exchange hearty handshakes.
- Between men and women: Two cheek kisses or a handshake in formal situations. Read more here on Kissing Etiquette in Portugal.
Car Etiquette
Whether in someone else’s car or your own, observe these courteous practices:
- Smoking Permission: Always seek permission before smoking in someone else’s car or home.
- Parking Politeness: Don’t park in a spot someone else has signalled interest in.
- Seating Courtesy: In the back seat, men enter first so women don’t need to scoot over or make inconvenient movements.
Cinema, Theatre, and Exhibitions
Respect others’ experiences in public spaces with these etiquette tips:
- Minimal Disruption: Avoid speaking loudly or creating audible distractions.
- Visual Consideration: Don’t block others’ views.
- Silent Enjoyment: Minimise noise while eating.
- Hands-Off Art: Resist touching paintings or exhibits.
In Church
When in a place of worship, adhere to these respectful practices:
- Hat and Phone Etiquette: Don’t wear hats or use phones.
- Pointing: Avoid pointing.
- Silence is Golden: Keep conversations hushed.
- Hands in Place: Don’t put hands in pockets or fold arms across the chest.
- Clothes: We get it’s hot here, but if you know you’re visiting a church, avoid wearing flip-flops, spaghetti strap tops or booty shorts in a Catholic church if Mass is in session.
Everyday Situations
Navigate daily life with politeness:
- Politeness is Key: Always use “se faz favor” and “obrigado.”
- Ask for Clarification: Politely ask for clarification when something is unclear by saying “Desculpe, não percebi.”
- Apologise When Needed: If you bump into someone, apologise with “desculpe” or “perdão“.
- Hold the Door: Extend the courtesy of holding the door for others and say “Faça favor” or “Passe à vontade“.
- Respectful Conversations: Avoid interrupting others.
- Priority Seating: Offer seats to the elderly, those with health limitations, people with young children (up to 2 years old) and pregnant women.
- Acknowledge Achievements: Congratulate achievements and birthdays with “Parabéns“.
- Introduce Strangers: Introduce people in your group who haven’t met.
- Phone Courtesy: Avoid calling on Sundays, during meal or nighttime hours.
- Hygiene Matters: Refrain from spitting in public spaces. Sadly, not everyone follows this one.
- Cough or Sneeze Safely: Use a tissue to prevent the spread of germs and say “com licença” or “perdão“.
Chivalry Between Men and Women
While chivalry may be waning, here are some courteous acts men can still embrace:
- Help with Bags: Assist with carrying bags.
- Offering Seats: Give up seats for women in public spaces.
- Door Gestures: Open car or house doors for women.
- Street Side Walking: Walk on the roadside of the footpath/sidewalk.
- Orderly Dining: Allow the woman to order and serve first.
- Ensuring Safety: Ensure the woman arrives home safely.
Incorporate these etiquette guidelines into your daily life for a more enriching and respectful experience.